I wish I knew who to credit this to, because I think it's incredibly clever. As it is, this came to me as an email forward and I thought it was too good not to share.
Let's drink to '09
with a good belt of wine
(though whiskey may well be more fitting)
The recession was hairy,
the Swine Flu was scary,
and Oprah announced she was quitting!
While we loved Lady Gaga,
the Octomom saga
struck many as shameless and wrong.
We witnessed the rift
between Kanye and Swift,
and Phelps was caught smoking a bong!
When a pilot's quick brain
saved his passenger plane
on the Hudson, the tale was a thriller.
Balloon Boy was phony
as rubber baloney.
The abs on the werewolves were killer!
The governor's flame
was an Argentine dame,
bringing scandal to South Carolina.
There were pirate attacks,
there was Goldman and Sachs,
there was poisonous drywall from China!
The prez was sworn in
and flashed us a grin
while exuding his usual charms.
Though some thought it shady,
the stylist First Lady
asserted her right to bare arms.
While Michelle was in Vogue,
Sarah Palin went Rogue,
and political tensions were showing.
With the gathering storm
over health care reform,
the Tea Party movement was growing.
The Hollywood crew
gave us "Transformers 2,"
while "Up" was a true work of art.
There was Bruno (a jerk!)
plus a young Captain Kirk
and an overweight mall cop named Blart.
Those admen on "Mad Men"
were sexy-yet-sad men
with lives full of pressure and toil.
Adam Lambert came out,
leaving no shred of doubt,
and who didn't love Susan Boyle?
O'Brien shone bright
as the star of "Tonight."
Stephanopoulos stepped in for Sawyer.
And of course a divorce
was so quick in force
that we watched "Jon and Kate Plus Her Lawyer!"
When a huge SUV hit a hydrant and tree
and the juiciest rumors proved true,
the endorsements went winging,
for that kind of swinging
just wasn't the Tiger we knew!
And Pop lost its King!
What a terrible thing
for an artist with hit after hit!
There were songs and orations
with loud lamentations
for everyone knew This Was It.
There were others as well
who went out, sad to tell.
We saw Cronkite and Kennedy fall.
Bea Arthur is gone,
Ed McMahon has passed on,
and Mary left Peter and Paul.
With the passing of Farrah
we ended an era
and Soupy and Swayze went too.
DeLuise said goodbye,
as did Oxy-Clean Guy
and the soft-spoken star of "Kung Fu."
Yet some news was brighter
and made us feel lighter
in spite of our sorrows and peeves.
There was Google Wave chat
and a keyboarding cat.
There were trendy new blankets with sleeves!
Though we can't erase
all the troubles we face
from the climate to high unemployment.
Let's be of good cheer
and they won't interfere
with our holiday fun and enjoyment.
We'll turn from the news
to whatever we choose,
be it Lifetime or ESPN.
And after a break
we'll be ready to take
the big plunge into Two Thousand Ten!
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