Today was costume day at our tumbling class. This meant that there were lots of fairies and bees and even a fireman or two running around. There was even a duck, whom Mia followed around, pointing and saying, "Quack, quack! Mammy? Quack!" Fortunately, both the duck and his grandmother were amused.
And what was Mia? Well, her costume is an original. Though not so original if you've been around here long. I'll post pictures on Sunday, so check back then! I will say, she got lots of smiles and attention, and I was quite pleased that Kevin suggested it a month ago.
Anyway.
Today was the first class in a new 6-week session, so there were several unfamiliar parents/toddlers there today, as well as 5 kids with their parents who were making up a missed class from last session. While playing with the parachute, Mia ended up on the opposite side of the circle from me, which wasn't a big deal since she was having fun and could see me the whole time. When it came time to move on to another activity, the kids were asked to get off the parachute. For whatever reason, Mia was distracted and didn't move. I was halfway across the room when the father closest to her (someone not normally in our class) picked her up under the arms and set her down outside of the parachute.
Let me be clear. He had the best intentions in mind. I actually think he thought Mia belonged to another mother a few steps ahead of me because he made eye contact with her as he did it. I anticipated what was going to happen next, and was within arms reach when Mia's face first panicked and then crumpled into tears. Picked her up, gave her a kiss, asked if she wanted to come play with me, and all was right with the world again.
But I was mulling about this on the way home. Typically, the adults in the class are moms, though we do have a dad of twins who is the stay-at-home parent. There seems to be an unspoken understanding (rule?) among the moms about physical contact with the kids. If a toddler falls or trips, the nearest adult might offer a hand to the child, but I've never lifted anybody else's child up, nor has anybody lifted mine. We see each other once a week for 45 minutes, not long enough to really know each other. It was interesting that this father stepped over that boundary, however unintentionally.
So tell me: Does this unspoken understanding exist? And do you think it's unspoken amongst both men and women, or does gender play a role here? I think I would have been just as surprised if a woman had done it, but I don't think the other moms in the group would have, kwim?
Ha. Reading over this sounds like it was much more of an ordeal than it was. Mostly, I'm just musing over the, "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" aspect.
Okay. Chat amongst yourselves.
Friday, October 29, 2010
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3 comments:
I have lifted kids in and out of swings at the park, helped a child out of a tree.... but I always spend a good deal of time scanning the area to see if a responsive parent is heading our way..or even looking this way (to make sure that I am a last resort lol). I do notice that Dads are more hesitant to engage in any sort of assistance, tho. Prolly smarter on their part, lol.
Maria, even reading the story, I find myself suprised that the Dad picked up Mia. Like you, I would have been just as suprised if another Mom had picked up my child. However, I am sure that the other mothers would not have regarded it as anything other than that Mom being helpful.
I am going to let M read your post when he comes home from work, as I would like to get his perspective. I would also be interested to know how Kevin feels about the situation.
I haven't told Kevin the story yet. I'm sure the guy's heart was in the right place. I wonder if, like Chrissy was saying, women are more aware of those around them while men have a more "fix it" mentality. See problem, solve problem, done ;) I think the poor guy felt kinda bad when Mia responded with the pitiful tears which caused all the surrounding moms to "awwwwww" sympathetically.
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